Oh, how glad I am to have found you once again!

        I don't know if any of you out there can appreciate this as much as myself--if you don't, this is something that you and all those in this world need to know. The following article was found via a google search attempting to fulfill a desperate need for lost treasure. I had no idea that I would find such a wonderful display of love for said lost treasure or such a perfect resource, for that matter. This article is thanks to oliner.com and can be found at the link given above.

"What happened to my Page Lifters?"

"Sheet Lifters (or Page Lifters, or Pagelifters, the terms are interchangeable) used to be supplied in every Looseleaf Binder that was sold. It was unquestioned that they provided real assistance to Binder users.

(Note: the term "Page Lifter" is going to be used on this web page so that it works well in searches. Don't be confused: a Page Lifter is a Sheet Lifter.)

However, as in everything else, the Evil Gnomes of Corporate Bureaucracy and Misguided Penny Pinching invaded the Eden of Well-Made Products. In order to save a fraction of a cent (literally!), Binder Manufacturers started scrimping on Page Lifters.

 In order to do their job, Page Lifters have to be a certain size and strength. The correct sizes are shown on this page. If you use a Page Lifter which is too small or too weak, you may as well not use one at all. These days, when you find one of the few Binders that still has Page Lifters, they are generally too small to do their job anyway. Some of them, you might as well use Tissue Paper.

 Well, you guessed it. After the Evil Gnomes emasculated the Page Lifter by putting Lifters in their Binders that were too small or weak, they started leaving them out of the Binders all together. The sad truth is that not everyone knows what Page Lifters are for, and that there was not any tremendous groundswell of protest.

 Knowledgeable Page Lifter users picketing their local Office Supply store is a nice image, but regrettably there were no mass protests over the near-death of Page Lifters. (Or if there were, they were quickly hushed up by cooperative Mass Media Outlets, who must also have been part of the massive conspiracy!! )

 But if you are one of the Select, Enlightened group of Page Lifter Aficionados, help is at hand!! You can buy Page Lifters direct from us, the original manufacturer! Strike a blow for old-fashioned quality! Don't let those corporate drones tell you what you can and can't do! "

And that, my friends, is the most beautiful sales pitch I've ever read. I do believe I'll be placing an order by the end of this weekend and look forward to receiving the fabulous product in the mail. The lost treasure has been found. Never shall I have scrunched pages in a binder again!